1. Listen:
Listen to the fact and not from the past. If the person you are listening to says that Computer Mouse she is using is Elephant and not the Computer Mouse, it is Elephant. Confused? Let me explain… In her specific context computer mouse might have been something else (e.g. Elephant in the example) and she must have her own justification and reasons for believing that. To understand exactly what she says, you must understand the context she is referring to. Nothing is right or wrong, only context matters.
2. Take ownership:
Success means 1% of what happens to you and 99% of how you react to it. Meaning, you have total control over your choice. Not a single situation or person has power to disturb or motivate you until you permit them to do that. It is inside-out, not any external force. Without having ownership, you can not make a choice. It is ‘You’ who is going to make a choice. Dhirubhai Ambani once said, ‘You do not need invitation to make profits.’ Similarly I believe that you do not need invitation to take ownership. So the million dollar question is, ‘Don’t you want to own your choice to shape your destiny the way you want?’
3. Write down your concerns, queries or non-understanding:
After listening to the fact, writing down whatever comes in your mind is absolutely necessary. The bottom line is to get everything out of your head and put it on the paper. It is the same old ‘In’ or ‘On’ law which says that work ‘on’ things and not ‘in’. Your head can work on it only after it is out of the head, isn’t it?
4. Raise questions and anticipate answers:
Once you have your head-worked list of concerns and queries, you are ready with the sure-shot weapon of asking specific questions. Remember you need to ask specific (and sometimes unreasonable) questions if you want specific answers.
5. Acknowledge:
You have got the answer to your question, now what? How come the person you are communicating will know that you have understood exactly what she meant you to understand? It’s simple. Acknowledge. Let her know what you have understood. Being on the same page (of course of the same book and the same edition!) is really important for everyone involved and acknowledgment ensures that. Needless to say that written acknowledgment is much powerful than oral acknowledgment. Again, ‘In’ or ‘On’ law interestingly works here too.
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