7 Things I Wish I Was Enlightened Of When I Was A Kid

Unexpressed goal of any life is self-actualization and learning is the key tool which helps you reach there. Learning involves the process of learning, unlearning and relearning. This obviously invites an encounter with a specific form of result called failures and its consequences also.
While learning from our own failure is one thing we should focus on, we cannot afford to lose the opportunity to learn from other’s failures (…or mistakes or mere lack of knowledge).

In this context, I’d like to share about seven things if I had known earlier could have made more a difference in my being.

1. It’s the question that matters, not only the answer – For almost two and half decades of my life, I worked hard for finding right answers. It worked well in some situations but not always. Sometimes, it led to situations full of stress. But from the day I learned to ask right questions, things changed, all for good. Why? Because, questions invite the answers from different sources and provide you the mindset needed to work ‘ON’ the things in the most efficient way rather than working ‘IN’ the things.
2. Leadership needs no titles – I was thinking that I’ll be able to execute things well when I’ll get the title called ‘CEO’. Later I discovered that I was in total dark. I found out that everyone is a CEO. CEO of his or her own self and titles do not help you much in performing at your best. Leading beyond a title means being your best version; delivering excellence with 100% of your commitment, regardless of your title or position. It applies to personal life also. For example, you don’t need a title of ‘father’ or ‘mother’ to give selfless love to a child.
3. Be cause in the matter; not the effect – The folks who find themselves at the ‘effect’ side of the matter are the most miserable; exactly opposite to the leaders who choose to be cause in the matter. Being cause in the matter means taking responsibility. And once you start operating from the context of being responsible, massive actions happen and results follows.
4. The most effective path to excellence is Be…Do…Have – I would have loved to discover this earlier. Most people focus on first doing then being and then expecting to have but it seldom works. Instead, it works well when you first ‘become’ something; then your actions would be exactly like whom you have become and then you will have exactly what you need. For example, despite of the non-technical academic background, when I chose to become a software programmer, I did everything that programmers should do and found a good programming job also. More than a decade passed since then but still I’m a programmer. I can program different things including computer software, photography sequences or marriage functions, marketing presentations or game strategy, with little effort. It’s possible just because I focused on BEING whatever I had to be; programmer in this case.
5. Life is empty and meaningless; and empty and meaningless is also empty and meaningless – I searched for the meaning of life for almost 30 years to discover that there’s no meaning of life unless we (or someone) assign a meaning to it. Quality of the picture of life will depend on the lens we look from. And to assign whatever meaning we want to assign, we need nothingness. In the nothingness, there’s a space. The space which invites us to discover the realm of the possibilities out of which we’ll choose to do whatever we intend to do.
6. Silence is the secret to sanity – I was shocked to discover that I invested my energies in speaking…speaking and speaking for many years to win an outspoken personality award amongst friends and family. The day I learned to become silent, I really learned to listen. Listen to the many things I was not able to earlier. I discovered that speaking took up a lot of energy which could have been used in understanding. I discovered that Listening habit took my communication to the next level. I really became saner when I learned this skill.
7. Less is more – Its opposite ate up many years of my life. I used to start 4-5 projects at a time and start working on all of them simultaneously. It means, my energies were only 20 to 25 % utilized on each project. I was calling this my multitasking ability. But I was totally wrong, from the context of effectiveness. This was a proven path to be ineffective.  Later, on the back of several heartbreaking failures, I started to focus on one thing at a time and it started giving immense results. Then I made this my mantra for effectively doing anything. Focus on less and you’ll get more.

Sooner is better than later and timely application of excellence leads to a definite success. Excellence is created out of performance which is the result of consistent actions which are usually ignited out of knowledge, no matter experienced or gathered.

So, if you find something which you think you should have known earlier and could have made a difference, please feel free to share it in the comments.

Photo Credit: alicepopkorn’s Flickr photostream

PS: Leadership Development Carnival is up at GreatLeadershipByDan and I’m honored to have my How To Caffeinate Your Leadership Repertoire post included.

See Also:

1. Excellence 21
2. A Formula for Success by Prof. M.S. Pillai
3. Seven Habits Of Highly Ineffective People
4. Landmark Education Courses That Will Make Difference In Your Life
5. More Thoughts On Tale Of Two Managers and Relationships of QAspire
6. 7 Acts of Poor Managers Who Gift Cancer To Their People, Their Clients and Their Businesses
7. Are You Heading Towards Ending-up At A Known Exit Point?